No Choice Left
Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I do not own
Sephiroth or Aeris. However, I do own Kyro, Movitriss, Valagar, some assassins,
a bunch of townspeople, a few monsters and places like
Author's Notes: The stupid past perfect tense still remains a complete mystery
to me, much like the usage of (in)definite articles. Sorry, and thanks for your
tolerance. Another long chapter awaits you, with Aeris and Sephiroth being as
usually the main characters. Movitriss&
* * *
"I wish I knew." Sephiroth replied with a disarming sincerity.
"But I thought…"
"I'm as much confused as you are. And I don't like it here, either. Let's
ask those people." he stated and left, not waiting for her to answer.
Aeris shook her read and walked up to several people standing next to a ruined
house. "Um… Excuse me?" she began. "Could you please tell me
what was the cause of this terrible damage…?" the people eyed her
suspiciously, instantly noticing her slightly different clothes and a different
accent; the trademarks of a foreigner. They ignored her and took up the
discussion, occasionally throwing glances in her direction. It made Aeris feel
uneasy. She loudly cleared her throat. "Well…" she started politely
once more. "I'm looking for three people… An old, tall man, a red-haired
woman and a handsome, blonde guy… Have you seen somebody like that,
perhaps?"
"Of course we've seen them." a middle-aged woman grumbled and spat on
the ground. "Those troublemakers… Are you their friend?" Aeris nodded
wearily, not liking the woman's expression. "Well, they got out of here
yesterday. And left a message for…
"Um, it's Aeris. And Sephiroth."
"Whatever…" the woman spat again. "Here, take it and leave as
soon as possible…"
Aeris took the folded piece of paper, decorated with the symbol of the Cetra
Council. "Sephiroth!" she yelled, turning around, but he was nowhere
in sight. A moment later he spotted him standing far away, immersed in a talk
with some other people. Well, I can as well read it myself, she decided and
carefully unfolded the letter. It was quite long, written hastily, but in an
elegant handwriting that was pleasing to the eye. Aeris bit her lower lip.
"Dear friends, - the message read - In case you are wondering, we are all
fine, but we had to leave Vaal in haste, not being able to wait there for you.
Please, you should hurry and follow us to a place called Sétif. Stay as
vigilant as possible, because it is no longer safe on Sandalya. The reason we
left…"
…She never got a chance to read the message to the end.
* * *
"Why else would they be sending scouts…?" Kyro argued.
"Now, we can only assume it was a scout… And we don't know if it destroyed
that town on purpose." Movitriss interrupted him and took out another
apple from her bag, tossing it in Kyro's direction. "Here, eat it. Mhm…
Delicious…"
"No matter what the hell it wanted, the biggest problem is, we have
honestly no idea where it went…" he said, starting to chew the juicy
fruit.
"To Dolnê, where else!?"
"…Meaning the people there might be in danger." Kyro mused over the
possibility.
"We're not going back to Dolnê, that's for sure." Valagar frowned.
"It think the best option is to proceed to Sétif, and then to
Bachar."
The younger man snorted, forcing his chocobo to speed up a little. "If
they are still there…"
"Most probably." Valagar cut him short with such authority Kyro
immediately ceased to argue. "Has anyone got a better idea?"
Movitriss shrugged. "Not really. Well, we'd better be careful, especially
from now on…"
* * *
"Watch out, miss!" somebody yelled.
Everything happened all of a sudden. Aeris heard the warning just in time to
fall to the ground, so that a fireball barely missed her head, singeing the
tips of her long hair. The flaming gust snatched the paper from her hand,
sweeping it away. When a second later the spell hit a wall in the distance,
ashes dancing in the air were all that was left of Valagar's note.
In the blink of an eye Aeris was back on her feet. "You…!" she
yelled, furious. "Look what you've done! You've destroyed it!!!"
"Whatever." a tall, well-built man stood in front of her. He was a
little surprised that the girl had dodged his spell, but he quickly decided it
was rather a fortunate turn of events, because now he noticed how pretty she
was. He knew he had to kill her to get the reward, but he decided he could as
well do that later, after he'd have a little fun with her. So he pulled out a
long, scary-looking knife and approached his victim with a smirk. The people
standing around them immediately scattered, leaving Aeris alone with the
attacker.
He slowly walked up to her, very self-confident. He didn't expect a girl so
small, petite and fragile to put any resistance, let alone hurt him. He stopped
right in front of her and, still holding the knife in one hand, raised the
other to caress the woman's cheek.
"Now, take it easy, sweetheart…"
Aeris had enough. With one smooth move she knocked the weapon out of the man's
hand. She was a slum girl after all. She knew exactly where to hit perverts
like that and the man was too much shocked to defend himself. Using her knee,
she hit him hard in a place that hurt the most. The man fell to the ground,
whining, moaning and cursing.
"Take this, you bastard! And this!" she screamed, aiming another kick
to his side.
"Impressive." Sephiroth said, pulling her back by the shoulder.
"Now stop before you'll hurt yourself."
"Let go of me! I'll be fine! This guy has just tried to kill me and
destroyed the massage Valagar left us! Before I had a chance to read it to the
end!"
"Oh, really?" Sephiroth asked, dangerously narrowing his eyes at the
man who had just started to get up from the ground. Aeris kicks weren't really
that hard or life-threatening, but they hurt, so the man was proceeding very
slowly. "What note?" Sephiroth inquired, but he interrupted Aeris as
soon as she opened her mouth to talk. "Wait. You'll tell me later, when
there'll be less people hanging around. …Now." he turned to the would-be
assassin. "Get lost or I won't be as kind as the lady."
The attacker picked up his knife. And hesitated.
The so-called small, fragile and defenseless woman stood only a few feet away,
with her chin raised and fists clenched. Her large, green eyes sparkled with
anger. Next to her stood a tall, lean man in black clothes. He carried no
weapon, but something in his expression was… well… unnerving. The assassin took
a careful step back. A sudden wave of uneasiness overcame him. The reward the
prince had promised for bringing those guys' heads somehow lost significance.
"Uh… I'll better go now…" he tried uncertainly.
"Wait." the silver-haired man said calmly, but his calm voice was not
very comforting.
"Let him go." Aeris had already calmed down. She never intended to
kill anyone on purpose, let alone in cold blood.
"No, I have a better idea…" once more Sephiroth turned to the man,
frowning. A small, ironical smile was playing upon his lips, a smile that
almost made the other man to drop his weapon. "You still haven't
compensated the lady for your rude behavior… Now, how about giving your pouch
to her?"
Aeris was surprised, but immediately got the point. She grinned first at
Sephiroth, then at the man. Stilling from some innocent people was definitely a
wrong thing, but punishing a criminal seemed like a good idea. Especially when
they desperately needed money. She energetically nodded. "Yeah, you'd
better listen to him! He can be really mean sometimes… Just give us your money
and you'll live."
The man hesitated, but Sephiroth's malicious smile quickly helped him to make a
right decision. "Uh… you promise?"
Aeris and Sephiroth exchanged quick glances. "Yes." the young woman
spoke
The man, not very eager to come closer, took out the pouch and threw it in
their direction. Sephiroth caught it and weighted in his hand, tossing it into
the air. The coins inside did a nice, loud clink. "Heavy." he said.
"Well, I'll treat it as a fine reimburse. Leave in peace."
The assassin ran back. As fast as he could. Aeris watched him go and grinned.
"Nice job we did."
Sephiroth shrugged. "Whatever. So…" he turned to the villagers that
still stood nearby, observing the entire scene. "Where can we find the
nearest inn?"
"We don't want any trouble…" one of the townspeople - the innkeeper -
grumbled, scratching his balding head.
"Yes, indeed…" Sephiroth frowned, narrowing his eyes. "You don't
want any trouble…"
The innkeeper quickly thought the whole matter over. There was a threat in
Sephiroth's voice and a sack in his hand. "…Follow me, mister. …And you,
milady…"
* * *
"Now, what was in that note?" Sephiroth asked as soon as they found
themselves back on the trail.
Aeris quickly repeated the message. "I'm worried about them." she
admitted. "Aren't you?"
"Worried about the people who made me a part of this ridiculous quest in
spite of my reluctance?" he smirked. "…Not really."
"Sephiroth!" Aeris exclaimed, indignant.
Ok., so maybe it wasn't entirely true, he admitted in his thoughts. He
respected Valagar and knew his death would be very unfortunate right now,
because he was the person most well-versed in the whole situation.
And Movitriss… He missed her, her smiles, her intelligence and her carefree
attitude. They way she used to look at him, with her eyes narrowed, almost like
a hunter at his pray… It sometimes sent shivers down his spine, but he liked
it. He would gladly see her alive in Sétif.
…On the other hand, he wouldn't give a damn about Kyro's death.
* * *
In order to reach Sétif, they needed to cross the sea. After a tiring, weeklong
journey they finally arrived at the coast, at a port that was called
Galesbreath. It was quite big and surprisingly crowded town. Upon arrival they
immediately divided their tasks: Sephiroth went to look for a ship to Sétif,
while Aeris' task was to find an inn and do some shopping.
Sephiroth agilely forced his way through the crowd, gathered in the docks,
which served not only as a marine, but as a huge marketplace as well. He cursed
in Wutaian. As usually, a big number of people irritated him, at the same time
making him feel slightly uncertain. Literally every second he was being jostled
by somebody or yelled at. A cacophony hard to describe filled the air.
Passers-by and merchants haggled loudly in every language possible. Animals,
locked in their cages, bawled. Lost children yelled and blubbered. There was
even a bunch of street musicians there.
Or maybe calling them musicians was not a very good idea… Sephiroth cursed once
more, almost stumbling over a fallen cart. (What a pandemonium… There's nothing
like civilization… Maybe that's the reason I dislike people so much?)
With some effort he found the "manager's office". The so-called
manager turned out to be an old, sinewy man with a face covered by uncountable
scars and wrinkles. Sephiroth patiently explained the aim of his visit: he
needed a place for two people on a ship to Sétif, preferably for tomorrow. The
manager first looked at him with disrespect, then picked his teeth for a while,
and finally asked about the money.
"I don't pay agents." Sephiroth became irritated. "I suppose
your job is to give free information, after all…"
The captain mockingly pouted and meaningfully glanced at the door. Sephiroth
sighed heavily, for a brief moment seriously considering grabbing the manager's
shirt and throwing him on the street through a closed window. He composed
himself. He didn't want to pay this damn smuggler, but the thought of spending
the rest of the day in the port, looking for a ship, was even less appealing.
"How much?" he finally snarled.
"A thousand." the captain insolently grinned. Sephiroth suppressed
another angry snarl and reached for the pouch. Wordlessly he laid golden coins
on a table. "Heron." he heard in response. "Marina number nine.
The southern docks."
* * *
They set sail the next day at dawn, taking advantage of the morning breeze.
Heron was a small ship and, apart from Flik, the captain, the crew consisted of
only four men and a ginger cat. Not many people traveled as passengers, as
well. Flik said they would reach the opposite shore in nine days, of course
only if the whether held.
Aeris was busy as never, constantly chatting with people, playing poker with
the crew in their free time - and winning, taking care of some young couple's
children, feeding the birds. She was slowly returning to her old self: being
energetic, kind, full of joy, self-confident and feeling light all the time.
She liked everything about traveling by the sea: the fresh, crisp air, the
breeze, seagulls, and the sun… She started to like Sandalya almost to the point
of regarding it as her new home. This place was simply beautiful. She knew she
couldn't let anybody destroy it.
She used to start every day with a song. Sephiroth kept repeating how much
annoying it was - Aeris liked getting up very early and therefore she was
constantly waking him up. Due to the fact Heron was a small boat, they had to
share a cabin. At first they were both very awkward about this, but quickly
learned how to live with it.
Sephiroth was less enthusiastic about the entire traveling thing, but he
enjoyed himself as well. Most of the time he was dozing, taking pleasure from a
light sleep that was free of any nightmares, relaxing in the warm, afternoon
sun. Aeris attempted to talk to him a lot, but generally tried not to disturb
him, because she felt that he needed and deserved his rest.
The sea had a calming effect on everybody.
* * *
Sephiroth leaned slightly on the railing, gazing at the water with a thoughtful
look of on his face. Aeris slowly walked up to his side. For a long moment she
was silent, listening to the seagulls' cries, allowing the wind to play with
her hair.
"What are you thinking about…?"
She was convinced that he wouldn't reply; he generally left open questions like
that unanswered. To her surprise he raised his gaze. "I remember my first
journey by the sea… I was… nearly thirteen." he answered indifferently,
shrugging his arms.
She laughed merrily, delighted that she got him to talk a little more about
himself, yet nervous at the same time. "Ah, I used to learn how to tie my
shoelaces back then… Tell me something more about it… Did you like the
sea…?"
The fact that he answered this time, surprised even Sephiroth himself.
"For more than two weeks the sea was almost as calm as today… I remember
the night we arrived to Junon. It was actually a very late evening and every
single light shone in the Junon Bay… It was an amazing sight, perhaps not as
spectacular as Midgar, but definitely much more beautiful…" he sighed. It
was such a long time ago… Of course, the city looked much different back then,
much better. He liked those three years he spent there, finally free of Hojo's
possessiveness. It was one of the very few places he considered as a substitute
of home. And childhood.
Aeris remained quiet, waiting patiently. Sephiroth was deeply lost in his
thoughts and his pale face betrayed no emotion. However, she could
instinctively read his mood and for a brief second he almost smiled; sadly but
sincerely. That had to be some good memories, she decided. She rarely saw him
calm as that… or maybe it was resignation? "Are you going to tell me about
it some day…?" she asked softly.
He raised his head, looking at her in silence for a moment. Then he turned back
to the sea once more. "Perhaps… someday." he rested his chin on his
hands, leaning further. "Why do you wish to know?"
She stirred, not lowering her gaze. "I just want to know you better,
that's all." she explained, hoping she's not overstepping the mark with
her sincerity. "You don't have to share your painful memories with me, I
don't expect it. But you could tell me about everything else…"
He straightened up, ready to walk away any second. Aeris moaned in her
thoughts, scolding herself for haste and stupidity. "Aeris." he said
coldly, but without anger. "All of my memories are…" he didn't manage
to conceal hesitation in his voice. "…more or less painful."
"It's not true…" she turned her eyes away, biting her lip. "You
know it's not true…"
He shook his head. (What do you know…?) "I don't want to talk about the
past, I don't want to remember." he spoke, trying to sound possibly cold
and indifferent. "It's not your concern, Aeris. Don't you have enough of
your own worries? Why do you need somebody else's problems?"
(You are my problem, Sephiroth…) She opened her mouth to say something, but
Sephiroth interrupted her with a gesture. "No, Aeris, and it's for the
better. I don't understand why are you doing this and I have an impression you
don't understand it, either. I don't need your pity." he shook his head
angrily.
"Pity…? You're right, you don't understand anything…"
Without any second thought he put a finger on her lips. She fell silent at
once, as if hit by a lightning, surprised. For a moment he looked her straight
in the eye, and she forgot she had to breathe, bewitched by the seriousness of
his gaze. Then he turned away and hastily left her, before Aeris had managed to
get over her bewilderment. He didn't look back.
Feeling she's making a great mistake, Aeris let him walk away.
* * *
He woke up with a start. The dream was about a public execution… his own.
Sephiroth was not afraid of death, let alone his own; he would rather treat is
as salvation. Nevertheless… He involuntarily trembled at the memory of this
nightmare and buried his face in his hands. His head was spinning. He still
couldn't believe it was only a dream. It felt like a real thing…
As usual. His nightmares were always so damn vivid. And he rarely remembered
any other dreams… Funny… as if his own subconscious wanted to tell him
something. (Was I screaming in my sleep?) He frowned, risking a quick glance at
the other bed, but Aeris was breathing peacefully, still asleep. He suddenly
wanted to get outside, since he had this impression of suffocating from the
lack of fresh air. He got up and left the cabin, quickly putting on a pair of
boots, fleetingly grabbing a white shirt, not even bothering to button it up.
The night air was cool and brisk. There was absolutely nobody on board, even the
captain and his helpers were long asleep, since it was around three o'clock in
the morning. The moons were hidden in Sandalya's shadow, invisible, so that
only stars could been seen, shining intensively against a dark, navy-blue
background of the sky. Sephiroth sat down on the railing, with his legs
overboard, effortlessly keeping his balance in spite of the ship's rolling. In
any case, he didn't really care. He could as well fall into the sea now…
As he was staring into the waves, his lip curled in self-contempt.
He still remembered his own death, even if it happened almost five years ago…
The mako was frightfully cold and thick as tar. So cold that it actually
burned… Breathing it made you suffocate, but didn't kill you at once. Sephiroth
remembered that at first he had desperately wanted to stay alive, not being
able to accept the thought of being defeated, but the next minute he had
already changed his mind. Every nerve in his body screamed in pain. He had only
wanted to end the torture as quickly as possible, but he had soon found out
that it wasn't easy to pass out, even though he had tried it very hard. It took
him a lot of time and hurt like… At the mere memory he bit his lip so hard,
that he felt blood on his tongue.
Instinctively he lifted a hand to his mouth to wipe it away, but the cut healed
very quickly. He knew it would disappear without any trace in a few moments.
(Maybe I actually deserved it… but why? What choice did I have? Was it really
my fault?)
He closed his eyes in resignation.
(I am a murderer and I will always stay a murderer, irrespective of everything…
Even I can't view it in different categories… The accursed ethics, the common
established norms, and the so-called moral point of view haunt me… And I can't
escape it, no matter what… Jenova was right… this is so piteous…)
He didn't even feel any anger, only a piercing, dominating grief. Sorrow.
Depression. Frustration. He smiled bitterly, not opening his eyes. No wonder
these feelings were so familiar… they had been accompanying him for almost
twenty-five years.
(What had I done to deserve Nibelheim? And was I able to change anything…?)
One again he discovered there was no answer to that question. He could
deliberate it over and over, thousands of times, and the result would always
stay the same… ant yet he could not stop himself from wondering.
(I went angry, that's true, and I wasn't thinking much about what I was doing.
I uncritically trusted Jenova… though from the beginning I knew what she was
driving at, I never questioned her plans… Earlier, as a soldier, I had never
openly questioned orders, either… But inside, did I hesitate at least once,
listening to Jenova's voice? Maybe… but it didn't matter at all, anyway… Back
there, in Nibelheim, for a moment I was truly happy. I started believing that
there was some sort of sense in everything, even in my previous suffering. That
everything I'd been trough didn't happen without a reason… I felt betrayed and
tricked by the humans, but at least not hopeless and alone… I knew what should
be done… or so I thought, anyway. I had an impression I was just starting the
real life…)
He suppressed a sigh.
(And now… I'm alone again. And after everything that happened it's even more
difficult than it was… Now, when I think clearly… I can't, I simply cannot
remain indifferent, though I would like not to care. Even if theoretically I
could start my life anew, I know well that it is unfeasible… I'm not able to…
The past will always hunt me…)
<Why……? Why me…?>
(Destiny? I guess I never believed in destiny. So what, irony of fate? Or maybe
just a coincidence? A fact of no significance… Or are some invisible gods
laughing at me right now? My life was planned long before the day I was born…
even before my conception. It's also piteous… I was created of cold calculation
only… scientific curiosity… human greed… Nobody gave me a choice… ever. Had I
ever made a decision entirely by myself?)
He slowly shook his head. No, he could not remember. All of a sudden he wanted
to cry and laugh at the same time.
(Why…?)
He raised his head and brushed some silver strands aside from his face. Not
tied up with a velvet ribbon, his hair moved freely, pulled by the wind. It was
cold. Sephiroth sighed. Far above his head the stars shone with millions of
lights. The sea was humming monotonously.
Suddenly he heard footsteps. He didn't even need to turn around to know Aeris
stood right behind him…
End of Chapter 7.
* * *
Author's Notes: Again, not much happened this chapter, but I simply couldn't
deny myself the pleasure of writing Sephiroth's thoughts - he's the main
character here, remember? Actually, that piece with him dwelling on his past is
a part of a story I created more than eight months ago. I guess I was less
mature back then, or perhaps simply depressed, 'coz Sephiroth was crying in
that fic. However, now I cut out the teary stuff, since it didn't look well in
"No choice left".
Quoting Brian Adams: "Everything I do, ooo, I do it for you…" ^_^ So
please, I need to know whether you're still interested in this fic. No reviews,
no Chapter 8. Sorry, folks, I know I'm annoying, but life is brutal, as one my
history teachers used to repeat. ^_~