No Choice Left
Chapter 9
Disclaimer: No disclaimer this
time. I told you!
…Oh no! The Squaresoft
representatives are coming! Aaah! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, I really didn't
mean to skip the discl-
Bang!
Author's Notes: Mwahahaha,
it's me again! And you thought you could escape this worthless fic just like
that? No, the image of Sephy speaking in grammatically incorrect sentences will
haunt you forever in your dreams! Mwahahaha!!! Mwaha- Err… Whatever. Ah,
besides, you're gonna hate me for this chapter, that's for sure, but I decided
to follow the script no matter what.
<…Script? What script!?
Girl, you have no script! You just have a few loose scenes in your mind, the
ending included, and you try to make a fic out of it!>
(Oh, shut up! Not everybody
has to know about it!)
…So flame me if you wish,
curse the lack of 'pure action' in this story, pull your hair out in despair,
but please, give me a sign you were here to read this chapter and leave a
review, any of you!
Info: the large pieces of
text written in italics are flashbacks, contrary to the single sentences
that are just telepathic stuff.
* * *
He wearily stood up, a
white shirt tied around his hips flapping in the wind. Narrowing his pupils
into slits, he looked up, straight at the sun. It was definitely smaller than
in should be.
<again>
He looked round very
carefully, taking in his surroundings - it was quite unnecessary, for he had
learned them almost by heart by now. The landscape, which reminded him of
pictures from Gongaga, was remarkably beautiful. A waterfall roared somewhere
in the distance, hidden from view by a lush, tropical jungle. Right now he
stood on an open, sun-burnt plain that was ranging the forest. He swept his
eyes over some hills that could be seen on the horizon.
She used to come to him
right here.
She. The mysterious woman
with no real face and no real voice. She claimed she was his mother and kept
promising him that he would meet her one day. He wasn't sure whether he liked
her or not, since there was this distinct coldness in her words. Moreover, all
the time he was convinced that it was only a dream, and being thirteen years
old, Sephiroth knew better than to believe his fantasies. The point was, the
dream was always so real…
She didn't appear this
time, however, which made him feel disappointed and impatient. He had never
tried leaving this place before, but he decided he could go and check the other
side of the hill. He started walking straight ahead. High grass brushed his
legs, leaving visible green stains upon the blue fabric of his jeans. His
silver hair whirled in the wind that eased a little the searing heat that
poured down from the sky.
(Where am I?)
He kept moving until he
reached the top of the hill. And there he stopped, because it was impossible to
go any farther, except from turning back. It looked precisely like the edge of
the world, for there was nothing left in front of him, but a breathtakingly
beautiful space void set with millions of stars. He sat down on the edge of a
cliff, gazing at the magnificent view, trying to name any constellations and
discovering a few he knew. He noticed a bigger shape to the left, an object
surrounded with a gentle, blue glow, bathed in the radiance of the stars. He
drew his knees to his chin, as his eyes grew wider. He knew it was the Planet.
His home. Why was it suddenly so far away?
(It's not happening for
real, is it?)
Oh, but it is…
It was her. He instantly reckognized the
voice and didn't even bother to look round or stand up. He only sighed,
lowering his gaze. "Why do you keep bringing me here?"
Don't you like it?
He slowly shook his head.
"It's not that. Yes, I like it, but…"
"Shhh. I think you're
still too young to understand. But I'll show you some day what the real purpose
of this dream is…"
He frowned. "Why won't
you tell me now?"
In a flash, gray clouds
appeared on the perfect sky, changing the atmosphere into wet and heavy. The
air was thick with smoke and dense with electricity, as if a storm was brewing.
Reopening his eyes, he found himself on the top of the ShinRa building,
high above the metropolis of Midgar. There was something magical in this view,
something captivating. The wind played with his hair, pulled at the tails of
his coat, bringing back memories of those many days in the past when he stood
just like that, on the edge of the roof, looking at the city, one step from
falling. Yes, it gave him the great feeling of power, and he enjoyed it.
(A suitable point of view…)
From the place he was
standing the humans were almost invisible, even in spite of his improved eyes.
Like ants, he thought. (Why should I care about the ants if I'm not one of
them? No one can stop me now.) He smirked at the thought of Shinra lying dead
in his office only a few meters below.
Her tentacles wrapped him
from the behind, enveloping him in a tight and warm embrace. He felt her upper
body resting on his shoulder, her soft, delicate 'fingers' touching his own.
"Look." she
whispered into his ear. "It's your heritage…"
* * *
She tiptoed to his bed as
quietly as possible and sighed, leaning over him. He was still asleep. With his
eyes closed tightly and curled up into a ball, he resembled a child. Movitriss
carefully sat down on the bed's edge.
He was still wearing those
black, leather mittens. She frowned in surprise, as she realized she had never
actually seen him without them. She looked closely. He had thin, delicate
fingers and white, slender palms. No scars. She heard some stories about his
past and she couldn't believe that with those hands he was able to lift more
than two hundred kilograms. And that with those hands… he had killed thousands
of people.
She sighed again. When he was
asleep, he looked like a porcelain doll, like an angel. It was almost
impossible for anybody to look that beautiful. Involuntarily, she bit her lip,
feeling a slight constriction in her stomach, something she couldn't suppress.
She knew she should immediately stop thinking about him like that, in these
categories. And yet she couldn't.
Silver hair was scattered
everywhere across the pillow, covering most of his face. Movitriss carefully
brushed a few soft strands aside. He had long, darkgray eyelashes. With some
hesitation she touched his cheek, all the time wondering whether she's
not going too far. (What if he wakes up…? How am I going to explain this to
him?). She clasped her hands in her lap, watching the man silently. Then she
reached for a blanket and covered him with it. Suddenly Sephiroth moaned in his
sleep and stirred nervously. His thin eyebrows moved. (A nightmare?) Movitriss
tensed as well and touched his forehead. It was as cold as ice.
(What are you dreaming of,
Sephiroth…?)
The question, not even
vocalized, was of course left without an answer. Sephiroth moaned again, his
hand moved slightly. He went paler - if it was imaginable at all - and groaned
something incoherently. Movitriss slipped onto the floor, taking one of the
man's hands into her own. Closed her eyes, she started to whisper, casting a
spell. Sephiroth gradually became calm, his breath slowed down. Tired,
Movitriss rested her head on the blanket. She didn't even notice the moment of
falling asleep.
* * *
(I'm hearing voices, am I
not? Is it… schizophrenia…?)
He sank to his knees,
clutching his head, as a sob started to rise in his throat.
(I need to get up… Get up!
That's just pathetic! The ship to Wutai is leaving in an hour… I need to
change, wash my face, finish the paperwork… Damn, where did I put those
cigarettes… I need to calm down… Compose myself…)
His hands trembled slightly
when he was lighting a thin, elegant cigarette, still kneeling on the tiled
floor. Staggering, he got up, clutching the basin's edge. His reflection in a
mirror made him wince. Tangled, silver hair, which was cut unevenly according
to the latest fashion. Glowing eyes… A face so white it could as well belong to
a vampire. A face that was far too serious for a seventeen-year-old boy.
Without finishing it, he tossed the cigarette into the basin, and suddenly his
reflection started to blur before his very eyes. A soft, female voice spoke
inside his head.
Why do you think it's a dream?
"Stop it!" he
yelled loudly. "You're not real!" The mirror crashed into million of
tiny pieces. A small shard of glass dug into his skin and red blood stained the
marble sink. "You're not real…" he whispered, closing his eyes in
exhaustion, leaning heavily against a wall and for the second time dropping
onto his knees.
(Maybe it's just the
stress, resulting from such a responsible job… Or the excitement of leaving
Migdar once more… But… it shouldn't be happening! And… it's not the first time
I hear her, right?)
* * *
Waking up, he instantly knew
something was wrong. The first thing he noticed was Movitriss' red hair
scattered across the bed's edge, only centimeters away from his own face. He
sat up in a twinkle of an eye. Being violently roused from her dream,
Movitriss' lifted her head as well, very rapidly, at first without realizing
what was happening. For a moment she thought she was still asleep. A pair of
narrowed eyes was fixed questioningly at her. Sephiroth's puzzled expression
was so funny, that most probably she would have burst out laughing under some
different circumstances. Now she only gasped, suddenly remembering the previous
night.
(Oh, shit! How could I fall
asleep just like that!)
For a few moments he simply
stared at her, blinking in surprise, his gloved hand still in her warm grasp.
He was neither ignorant, nor inexperienced with woman, and slowly he was
beginning to understand. Very gently, not wanting to embarrass her further, he
pulled away from the touch.
"What were you doing…
like this?" he asked.
However, she was not the kind
of woman to blush easily. She equally gazed at him, her golden eyes warm and
lips curled up into a delicate smile. "Sorry for scaring you…" she
answered. "Let's say… I couldn't stop myself."
He winced at such
straightforwardness, but then again, straightforwardness was something he
generally admired. "I see…" he answered, mischievously narrowing his
eyes; eyes that sparkled with amusement.
His smile was so gorgeous it
almost made her melt. Spending a couple of weeks without him made her realize
how much she actually missed and needed him. She always used to dismiss the
so-called 'love at first sight' as a fairy tale. So why was her heart beating
faster now, as it usually did when he was near? (I barely even know him…) She
got up, throwing him a longing glance, almost fluttering her long eyelashes and
silently scolding herself for such an obvious behavior.
"I'll make you some
breakfast. Get dressed and I'll be back in a second."
"Wait." he suddenly
frowned, calling to remembrance his encounter with the Räelan. "What
happened…? The… the alien!" he blurted. "What happened!?"
* * *
"You mean, it
disappeared, just like that…?" Aeris asked, absently playing with her
silver necklace.
Kyro nodded. "Most
probably, since we found you in the basement alone and unhurt. …And the other
one, the one who attempted to attack the girl… well, as soon as she came round,
she told us that 'this man with silver hair' started to yell something and 'the
monster' stopped. And then it escaped through a window, leaving shattered glass
everywhere and unconscious Sephiroth on the floor."
Aeris bit her lip. "I'm
worried about him…" she whispered.
(Why didn't they tell me the
truth about the Räelans before? I wonder if Sephiroth knew… No, of course not…
Or maybe… Perhaps he knew and used the journey to Sandalya as a chance to meet
them…? Was his connection with Jenova that deep? Is he going to… loose
his mind again?)
How could anybody be
worried about that murderer, Kyro had no idea, so he simply snorted. Aeris
looked up, sending him a confused glance. "What?" the blonde
shrugged. "You'd better be concerned about yourself, as something
unpleasant might happen to you in the future. I still believe he's one of the
aliens and that he'd never change. I almost expect him to take up his previous
path. People are likely to repeat their biggest mistakes… ups, sorry. I forgot
that he's not even human…"
"Your biggest
mistake would be to repeat these words in my presence, ever!" angry
Movitriss stormed into the room, followed by Valagar and Ongi.
Kyro rolled his eyes at her,
pulling a face as soon as she turned away. Aeris said nothing, utterly lost in
her worries and therefore unable notice the emotion in Movitriss' voice.
"I don't care about
it!" Ongi was saying, furious.
"But you have to
understand, taking action now might result…" Valagar cut the air with the
back of his hand.
"There are
dangerous!"
"Nobody has died."
"Yet!"
"We cannot understand
them, that's all!"
"They're like a
disease…" Kyro muttered, too quiet for anybody to hear, apart from Aeris.
"And we'll never
understand them! They're different! Contrary to what you suggest, they cannot
coexist with the humans!"
* * *
Unnoticed, Sephiroth stood in
the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and listening to the argument with
his fists clenched. And when he decided he had just heard enough, he rushed
into the room, breaking the conversation. He walked up straight to Valagar,
resisting the urge to slap the man across the cheek.
"How could you!?" he
yelled at him instead. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have come with
us, then?"
Sephiroth fell silent.
Reasoning with this man was pointless.
(I can't blame him for being
even more selfish than I am… He's convinced that everything he does is right…
using the people he needs, omitting to mention the truth… He never lied to me,
did he? And yet the problem is, as I've already learned, that the most
dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth…)
"Do you even realize how
do I feel right now?" Sephiroth finally said, lowering his head.
"What, are you afraid of
them…?" Kyro asked mockingly "Afraid of the aliens? Because looking
at yourself you know what they are really capable of?"
"Shut up, kid!"
Sephiroth hissed. "Before I'll show you what an alien is capable of…"
"Who are you calling a
kid, you-" Kyro started and was interrupted with Valagar's irritated
voice.
"Stop it, both of
you!"
…But it was too late.
Sephiroth was tired of such accusations, lies, masked hostility and slanders
mixed with false assumptions. It was the tension of the previous weeks,
connected with his last experiences and repeating nightmares, that made him
spring at the younger man without hesitation, even though he was fully aware
that Kyro had little to do with the true reason behind his anger… He was
frustrated with himself, mostly.
"You asked for it!"
he spat in Kyro's direction, realizing he was overreacting. He just needed to
vent his anger on somebody, which meant he was fighting to kill… and he knew
it.
Kyro had just waited for such
an occasion, determined to get rid of the dangerous man as soon as possible. In
a blink of an eye he was on his feet, with his sword drawn. "See?" he
shouted in Aeris' direction, flying at Sephiroth's throat. "I told
you!"
Sephiroth clenched his teeth,
dodging the first blow and uttering a curse, as Kyro's blade nearly cut his
throat. With one quick flick of his wrist, the younger warrior attempted to
slash Sephiroth on the leg, failing miserably, and yet immediately aiming a
blow at his face with his left hand, effortlessly keeping his balance.
Sephiroth had to jump out of the way, not managing to grab the opponent's
wrist.
"Kyro!" Movitriss
yelled furiously and spun around. Valagar shook his head at her. It was obvious
he won't interfere with the fight. Ongi and Aeris stood to the side - the duke
perplexed and disgusted, and the woman visibly scared. Movitriss clasped her
hands, closing her eyes, and started to chant a silence spell.
Kyro swung his sword in the
air, aiming at the opponent's head and once more missing. With a truly inhuman
reflex, Sephiroth kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying across the
room. However, Kyro was equally fast. He managed to land on his feet, swiftly
recovering his poise.
"Silence!" Movitriss
shouted, throwing her twinkling fingers into the air. The spell that Kyro was
about to cast broke with a hiss, spilling into hundreds of white sparks.
The two warriors stood facing
each other, both furious, both not even tired, and yet breathing quite heavily.
"So what?" Kyro
narrowed his brown eyes. "Are you going to kill me in cold blood?"
It was supposed to provoke
him, and Sephiroth knew it, as well as make Kyro seem an innocent victim of his
anger. He looked round the room, noticing Movitriss concern, Aeris fright,
Ongi's distaste and Valagar's disapproval. He slowly unclenched his fists and
his eyes lost the furious, green glow. "I have enough of everybody's
lies!" he hissed and burst out of the room.
* * *
Sephiroth walked up the low,
stone wall that was surrounding the park and looked down. A peaceful, almost
deserted alley run a few meters below. All the shops were closed. It was early
afternoon, time for a siesta, and not many people were on the streets, because
of the heat. In an attempt to calm down, he had been wandering through the
luxurious part of the city for more than two hours, crossing elegant gardens,
until he reached the edge of this park, unsure what so do next. He didn't feel
like returning to the palace right now, not yet.
"Angry?"
He momentarily tensed,
clenching his hands into fists so hard that it hurt. Managing to stay still, he
slowly turned around. Yes, his assumptions were correct - there was a male
Räelan standing only a few meters behind him. He must have emerged from the
bushes only a second ago. It was nearly impossible for a creature so big to
move so stealthy. Sephiroth frowned. (Why I didn't notice his presence before?)
For a moment they only stared
at each other. The man was tall - according to human standards - but the alien
was even taller, which made Sephiroth feel slightly irritated and a little
uncomfortable. He nearly gasped, when a second later the Räelan sat down. No, he
wasn't surprised at all that the alien had read and interpreted his thoughts,
but with the fact that he had complied with those unspoken wishes. Moreover,
the creature showed absolutely no hostility, which really puzzled him.
"What are you doing
here?" Sephiroth hissed. Being used to vocalize his thoughts, he didn't
want the conversation to run in his mind only.
"I came to talk."
A direct response. Sephiroth
winced. "Talk…? What about?"
"Why don't you seat
down as well?" it
was a friendly invitation.
Sephiroth looked round very
quickly. They were surrounded by bushes and the wall separated them from the
street below. A few passers-by didn't notice anything so far; besides, they
would have to crane their necks to see anything. The other part of the garden was
visibly deserted.
"They'll kill you if they
see you here…" Sephiroth hesitated, narrowing his eyes. "I'm not even
sure whether won't kill you myself…"
"Why…?" the alien was bewildered, almost
shocked. "I'm one of your kind."
"No." Sephiroth
angrily spoke. "You're not."
The alien was truly puzzled. "You
think you're a human? You make look like one, have this pitiful, slim and small
body, but you're not. Besides, why would you lower yourself to such puny
creatures?"
Sephiroth bit his lower lip.
(Yes, indeed, why…? I've never
actually thought of it, since I woke up in the Promised Land… Where do I
belong…? Why do I constantly keep repeating myself I'm human? …As if to assure
myself it's not a lie… But… blood or abilities are not all that counts. No
matter how… unnatural my have youth might have been, I was still brought up in
the presence of humans, absorbing human principles of behavior, human style of
thinking, human cannons of beauty…)
"You could escape it
if you only tried…"
Sephiroth shook his head.
"Never mind. Why are you here?"
"The humans. What will
they do?"
"You can't really speak
with them, right?" Sephiroth narrowed his blue eyes at the creature.
"Yes. You're the only
one who will understand. We can speak in their minds, but they think too slowly
to comprehend."
"But even when I think I
use words just like any other human does…"
"You are different.
You think differently. Much faster, fast enough for the two of us to have this
conversation. Your emotions are much stronger and reactions quicker."
"So what? Look. I don't
really wish to talk about it. And I don't want to have anything to do with your
race… Leave this place."
"But you feel the
connection, don't you…"
<yes>
"Leave this place."
Sephiroth repeated in annoyance, hating the fact that the alien knew the
answer, even if it hadn't been spoken aloud.
"Don't be angry. You
know it's mutual. I can't deceive you as well."
"I'm not sure…" he
could tell that the Räelan was sad because of his distrust.
"Why do you want us to
leave this place? We wish to settle here."
"It's not deserted."
"Animals."
Sephiroth frowned. "You
regard all humans as animals…? Why? Just because you think you are…
superior?"
"Isn't it obvious?
Besides, we really are
better and you know it. Deny."
He looked away, lowering his
head. "Do you really think that gives them less right to live?"
<a hypocrite>
(Am I being a hypocrite?
Cynic? Because a murderer who's saying such things… there's something wrong
with that… …Or have I really changed that much…?)
He sensed the alien's mild
surprise. "You're concerned about them?"
Sephiroth hesitated before
uttering his response. "No. But I think your standpoint may be wrong,
after all."
"You're stubborn. We
really need this place for us. Our homeland is dying. Why-"
"Sephiroth!" a
worried, female voice echoed through the garden. "Where are you!?"
The Räelan got up; his
movement was quick, almost impossible to notice.
"Aeris…" Sephiroth
whispered and suddenly his expression became threatening, as he turned back to
the alien. "Stay away from the humans or the Cetra."
"Tomorrow I'll be
back." the alien
said. "I need to speak with them."
"What makes you sure I'll
help you…?" the man dangerously lowered his voice.
"Sephiroth!"
"We'll force them into
respecting our laws. Even if this means a war."
"Wha-" he started,
but the Räelan had already disappeared in the bushes. Sephiroth sighed and sat
on the low wall. Aeris' voice was becoming fainter with every second.
* * *
What makes you human? Strong
emotions such as love or hatred?
I don't really know…
But you're still seeking for
an answer.
I just want to… live. And
forget, consigning everything to oblivion. Why am I tormenting myself like
that? My questions are of no significance…
These are moral questions,
therefore the most important ones…
I don't believe in the value
of life anymore. I've already seen too much destruction around me…
Would you like to see the
people you love die?
Love? What is love? Just
chemical reactions in your body…
Would you really like to see
the entire world suffer?
No, but I won't do anything to
stop the war…
Unless it concerns you
personally?
Yes.
You're such an egoist.
Certainly, but not the only
one… I envy those ignorant fools. They never look for the deeper reasons,
taking live for plain and simple. I wish I could live just like that, without
trying to understand the universe at my every step. Maybe I would be happy
then… Sensitiveness and intelligence are like a curse. I know I'll never
receive my answers in spite of seeking them so badly.
So why do you even bother?
End of Chapter 9
* * *
Author's Notes: Geez, this
chapter was stranger than the previous one… All those pseudo-philosophical
insertions… instead of making Sephy beat the nasty aliens to a pulp… Ah, but
who said they were nasty?
<Um… You said so…>
(What!? You must have been
imagining things…)
Anybody still reading this…
uh, piece of work? Leave a review! Flame me, praise me or tell me to stop
writing right now… anything! Remember, only sufficient number of reviews will
make me create the next part. Thanks for everything you've done so far! Warm
hugs for everybody!