No Choice Left

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns the two most important characters in this story, including a certain silver-haired villain everybody loves. Sad, isn't it? (Just you wait, Square! One day he'll be mine!) Er…well… ^_^;

Author's Notes: Oh my… *jaw hangs open* Somebody's reading my work!? *shock* …I guess it means I can't leave the story unfinished… Well… thanks for the kind reviews!

All right, on with the fic. Don't forget to call an ambulance before you'll start reading. Just in case you'll have a heart attack or something… but I hope you're gonna like this chapter anyway. Don't freak out at the beginning! Read patiently till the very end, unless you wanna miss something important.

One more thing: bits written in Italics are, as usual, flashbacks.

Enjoy the story!

* * *

"If you've changed your mind, please, tell me. I'll understand."

Several wax-candles, almost completely burned out now, were throwing flickering shadows across the floor, bathing their half-naked bodies in a gentle glow. Movitriss lay on her back with one of her hands resting against her bare chest, the other one next to her head, palm upwards. Her red hair was scattered across the silk sheet. Sitting next to her, Sephiroth raised a hand to touch a diamond necklace that adorned her slender neck. The woman's golden eyes shone in the candlelight as she watched him intently. A single tear was drying up on her cheek.

"No." her answer was firm, or so it seemed. "I haven't."

Sephiroth didn't say anything, waiting for her to make the next move, unwilling to force her into anything. She didn't avert her gaze, nor did he.

How can one's eyes be so dispassionate and so warm at the same time…?, she wondered. (So concerned and worried, and yet so uneasy and distant…)

"I don't care about tomorrow…" she said under her breath, covering his hand with her smaller one. "Or maybe I do, I truly do, but not right now, not having you that close…" she trailed off, lowering her voice to a barely audible whisper.

He hesitated. Gods, she was so beautiful… "I don't want you to regret it later…" he finally admitted.

"I won't." she promised softly. "Don't worry. It's my own choice…" she touched his neck and it sent shivers down his spine. "Tonight…" she whispered. "I'll make you forget all your doubt…"

* * *

And she kept her promise. Next morning, however, by the time he woke up she was already gone. Opening his eyes, Sephiroth found himself laying on the edge of the bed, alone. He sighed and looked at the window, noticing it was very bright outside.

"…It's almost midday." he muttered in Wutaian, rubbing his tired eyes. "Weren't we supposed to set off early in the morning…?"

The sweet scent of vanilla that wafted in the air reminded him of Movitriss' presence. Besides, her golden irises still haunted his memory. He sat up, frowning briefly. (Where the hell did she go?) Feeling that it was already too late and that there was no need to hurry, he slowly got up and reached for his shirt. All the time he couldn't help thinking about her.

It had to be devastating for her, he realized. (No wonder she fled an soon as she got her chance. Most probably to turn everything over in her mind. Yesterday there was no time for second thoughts…

Damn, I really feel guilty… I made her suffer. But I had to, even in spite of my reluctance. To be forced to tell lies is a painful thing and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I know I could have easily told her that I loved her, but that would be wide of the truth… and I didn't want her to suffer afterwards. Is she going to understand? Probably not… But she took it quite well. She didn't flew into a passion… and she was none the less anxious to…) A bittersweet smile crossed his lips at the memory of the previous night. (Do I simply underestimate her, then? Or maybe… she didn't really care much about me…?)

As a matter of fact, she did, and Sephiroth knew it.

(…I have mixed feeling about this. From the day we first met I felt somehow drawn to her… Nevertheless, I had to hurt her. …And it really pained me to see shock, sorrow and disappointment in the eyes of a woman.)

It's not the first time I saw such an expression, though, he thought bitterly, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

(I can only hope she's going to be all right…)

Five minutes later he was already outside, heading for the familiar garden. He expected to find Valagar there, since the old man preferred soft grass and the morning sun to the cold, drafty rooms of the castle. However, contrary to his expectations, Sephiroth didn't meet the head of the Cetra Council in the garden. He found Aeris instead.

She stood next to a small pound, staring absently at the murky water. Being absorbed in thought, she appeared entirely unaware of the reality. Even though Sephiroth knew it was silly, he somehow couldn't resist the impression that the woman had been waiting for him. In his opinion it was kind of ironical that she had to be the first person he had run across this morning.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for a reason he could not understand, but acting casually and nonchalantly as ever, he walked down the stairs. Stopping at the bottom, he yawned, stretching his arms and gazing upwards. Some clouds were visible in the sky. He looked at them knowingly, then shrugged. "Damn. Today's also going to rain."

Strange, he thought. (By the time I said those words loud she must have heard me coming…) However, she didn't turn around at once. And when she did, the man noticed immediately that she looked grave as never. Was it just his imagination, or was there really a shadow of unspoken accusation in Aeris' eyes?

"Get ready." she said softly. "We're leaving in an hour."

"Where to? Have you spoken to Valagar?"

Instead of answering, Aeris walked up to him and grasped one of his hands. Sephiroth froze. Still holding his fingers, the woman slowly looked up. She looked serious and determined, but there was also a great deal of anxiety in her expression.

She hesitated. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought her chest would explode, and her mind was in a whirl. (What am I supposed to say now? What should I do? And, besides, what the hell's happening to me? I've never been a very shy person… so why is there a lump in my throat now…?)

"Sephiroth… I think we need to talk." she somehow finished the sentence without stammering or blushing to the roots of her hair. She went as white as a sheet instead, finally letting go of his fingers.

Bloody well, she scolded herself in her thoughts. (I'm such a looser! Right now he probably thinks I'm drunk or something…)

"Talk…?" he blinked. If he really held her for a drunken person, he didn't let it show. "…About what? Aeris? Are you alright?" his voice was quiet and concerned. He gently put a hand on her shoulder. She trembled under his touch and it didn't go beyond his notice. She looked as if she was going to faint in his arms. In fact, she almost did.

He forced her to sit down on the stairs. An awkward silence fell between them. Aeris was clasping the material of her beige dress so tightly that her knuckles turned white. With her head handing down and her hair covering most of her face, she looked fragile and miserable.

Sephiroth resisted the urge to walk away, leaving the woman like that, as if nothing had happened. He didn't know how to deal with such emotions himself, let alone how to help anybody. Even though Aeris wasn't sobbing, he knew she was crying silently, which made him feel more than just confused and uneasy.

Tears were staining her dress and Aeris couldn't help it. It's not how it was supposed to be, she thought, embarrassed and angry with herself. (I know I'm pitiful. But… I can't just tell him I love him, all of a sudden…) She finally raised her head and risked a glance in his direction.

'Would you tell me, what's wrong?' - his narrowed eyebrows were saying.

I… I can't, she suddenly realized, bursting into tears once more. Unable to bear the stress any longer, she threw herself at him, embracing him tightly, burying her head in his arms.

* * *

"I… I can't. I'm sorry."

He wasn't used to apologizing and these words felt somehow strange and improper in his mouth, but he knew that Movitriss deserved them. And, after all, it was one of the very few things he could give her.

"What stops you…? What are you afraid of?"

Afraid? No, he was not afraid. He had just realized something… very important.

* * *

Sephiroth could almost see the summer flying away, riding a cool, delicate wind. He looked up, sweeping his gaze over the distant treetops. The leaves were falling… and falling…

Aeris was slowly calming down in his arms. There was no need for further explanations. He understood what she had been trying to say. And it still surprised him.

* * *

"You hardly ever joke like that so I guess it's true… I mean nothing to you, right?"

"It's not that…"

Movitriss turned her head away, so that the candlelight shone in one of her diamond earrings. "You know… Sometimes I'm not sure whether I love you or not… Because if it's love, then it means I've fallen in love with you the first second I saw you… and I don't believe in such things… Love at first sight…?"

* * *

Closing his eyes didn't help; the memory was still vivid. Back then, their words and actions had been based on sincere emotions, and he couldn't deny it. They had spent a night together because they both wanted that. He felt a sudden pang of regret; he still had a sense of loosing something important. Movitriss' beauty, charm and eloquence were captivating, not easy to forget.

However… she was never the most important one.

He looked at Aeris. Many feelings passed through his heart at once: relief, happiness, concern, bewilderment… as well as the stings of remorse. He was responsible for betraying both of them…

But what he had done already belonged to the past.

* * *

"Don't." she put a finger on his lips. "You don't have to say anything… I understand… or so I think…" her voice was firm, but he could tell it was a false impression. "…And I see how you feel." she paused. "Can we stay together… just for tonight…?"

"Don't you want me to leave?"

"You expected me to throw a fit, didn't you…?" her smile was ironical, but otherwise very sad. Sephiroth was silent. She frowned at him. "I'm not sure, what we should do next…" she admitted, toying with her necklace. "…or maybe I do, but I don't think you're going to agree that easily. Am I wrong?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "But… aren't you going to be sorry afterwards…?"

She run her finger over his chest. "I don't know. But I think my biggest regret would be to stop right now. Let's forget about the future… at least till tomorrow morning." she leaned over him, starting to unbutton his shirt.

"You still… Do you really want to…"

"Shhh." she interrupted him. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

Moving as gracefully as a dolphin, a brown leaf drifted through the air. It smoothly flew over the heads of two people who were gently embracing each other as they sat on the stairs leading down to the garden. The woman's eyes were wet, while the man's expression was hard to tell.

Very gently, almost unnoticeably, the leaf fell to the ground.

* * *

The duke gave them fast chocobos, more food supplies than they actually needed, detailed maps… and he nearly exiled them from the castle, much to everybody's relief, anyway. They left Haghia behind, heading for a tiny village called Bachar. It was situated on the edge of the snowfield the Räelans supposedly landed their ship on.

The journey proved to be exhausting pretty soon, especially for Valagar and Aeris, but none of them complained. Since they were rapidly travelling south, it was getting colder every day. The landscape began to change as well. The golden fields of wheat were gradually replaced with some flat wastelands and every deciduous forest they rode across was more striped of leaves than the previous one. They all knew it would start snowing soon.

Six days later they stopped for the night in a wayside inn.

* * *

Aeris sat in front of the inn on a simple wooden bench, staring at a few bare willows that were slowly turning red because of the bloody glow created by the sun setting in the distance. It was a fairly cold evening, so in spite of a cloak and a pair of woolen gloves she wore, the woman felt quite chilly and her cheeks were slightly red.

Sephiroth sat next to her with his arms folded across his chest. With his eyes closed, he seemed to be dozing; though in fact he was only thinking. Few meters away there was Kyro, busy polishing his sword. Aeris threw a meaningful glance in his direction, as if silently begging him to leave, but the man didn't move. From the day Sephiroth had saved his life, Kyro sometimes kept following him like that, for no apparent reason, though, since he had never made an attempt to start a conversation and he still regarded the half-alien with some suspicion. Sephiroth didn't like it much, but he was patient of the younger man's behavior. At least they had both stopped spiting out threats at each other.

It was quiet, since the inn was almost empty; only a few gloomy travelers silently drank inside. In the middle of a muddy yard, a teenage girl, most probably the innkeeper's daughter, was feeding goose and hens. Dressed in a broad skirt that was made of carding wool, she moved among the birds with a bowl full of grain in her hands and a smile on her lips. Ignoring everybody's presence, she sang; her voice rung through the air, creating a nice melody. The girl both looked and sounded very cheerful.

Aeris lowered her head, watching the girl longingly, almost sorrowfully. "Why can't our life be so simple?" she suddenly asked.

Sephiroth raised a hand to his chin. A small, almost unnoticeable smile crossed his pale features. "Would you be happy, then? Living in the middle of nowhere, feeding poultry?"

She was used to mockery in his voice, but this time he was serious. Aeris shrugged and stood up, with her hands still clasped and touching her waist. "Perhaps…? Who knows?"

With his gaze still fixed on the sword, not stopping for a moment, Kyro spoke: "But that would've been awfully boring, don't you think?"

Sephiroth looked up to meet the woman's clouded eyes. The setting sun turned Aeris' long, chestnut chair into a living flame, flapping loosely in the wind. She looked as if she was going to say something, but she only took a deep breath and disappeared inside the inn.

The teenage girl was still humming, spilling the grain over the birds' heads.

* * *

Sephiroth sat up on his bed, wrapping a blanket tighter around his body.

It was already well past midnight and the entire inn was immersed in a deep, peaceful slumber. However, the man couldn't sleep, for he was nervous and worried. He couldn't pretend that he didn't care at all. Well, maybe the problems of Sandalya meant nothing to him, but, much as he hated it, he had to admit he had already became personally involved in the upcoming conflict. He seriously doubted Valagar would be able to put an end to the unnecessary violence. The idea of fighting the Humans or the Räelans seemed ridiculous, unfeasible.

There's only one solution, he thought. (Because if we destroy the ship, they'll eventually send an entire fleet. Nobody will stand a chance against a powerful race that is determined to survive at all costs. And killing people would be useless, as well. How many humans live here, anyway? Thousands? Millions? No, someone has to persuade the Räelans to move farther. I don't believe Valagar will succeed, though…)

Sephiroth sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. The blanket slide off his arms and when he straightened, he accidentally touched a cold wall with his bare back. Suppressing an irritated hiss, he trembled.

Inside, he was shaking with anger at the thought of destroying an entire intelligent race.

(They're not going to listen to one of the Cetra. I have to do it myself… alone. Well, I must try, at least… before it will be too late.)

He clenched his teeth, since he didn't feel very enthusiastic about speaking to the Räelans. He thought about Aeris. Constantly traveling for the past six days, they hadn't got another opportunity to talk seriously with each other.

(What does she really feel? And… most importantly… What do I feel…?)

He rested his head on his knees, briefly closing his eyes. When she had cried in his arms, back them, in Haghia, her eyes had been so sad, so frightened…

(Did I really… fell in love with her…? Or is it merely a… misimpression? Maybe I seek warmth, trust and affection so much, that I simply interpret her or my own feelings in a wrong way…) He growled in confusion. It wasn't easy to leave her, especially now. (No, of course I can't take her with me. That would be far too dangerous… for both of us.)

Though he was truly afraid of what the future might bring, he knew he had to go, or else he would regret it later. Being used to moving in the darkness, he got up and reached for his clothes. Two minutes later he left his room and, without making any noise, he quickly run downstairs, heading for the stable.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Sephiroth had just finished fastening the girth and he was ready to jump onto the saddle, but he froze at the sound of a female voice he had instantly recognized. Cursing under his breath, he turned around. Aeris stood right behind him, tightly wrapped up in a woolen coat and yet shaking like an aspen leaf. It was very, very cold and she was barefoot, probably still wearing a nightgown underneath. She must have run downstairs, Sephiroth thought.

"What are you doing?" she repeated, looking at him expectedly.

He couldn't just lie or shout at her to leave him alone. He didn't want to. Besides, he was sure she was not going to let him ride away, at least not before he would answer her question.

"What's wrong, Sephiroth? Why are you leaving?"

He didn't really felt like explaining everything, though. The silence became uneasy, but he didn't say anything, hoping she would understand him anyway.

Aeris frowned, wordlessly considering the possible reasons. (Is he simply tired of our company? Weary of it all, just as I am? Running away from me? Or maybe… - she almost gasped at the thought - …maybe he's going to join the Räelans…? No, impossible…)

The ground was so chilly that her bare feet were burning. She flinched in pain.

He sighed. "I have to do something, or else Valagar's going to ruin everything…"

"And you're going alone?" she folded her arms across her chest.

"I'll be alright." he shrugged dispassionately.

"I'm coming with you." she momentarily answered in an equal tone of voice; it sounded as if she were throwing some casual remark or stating a mere fact. Her narrowed eyes suggested she had been neither joking, nor pleading.

Sephiroth bit his lower lip; there was no irritation in that gesture, just frustration. "No way." he sounded annoyed an amused, both at once. "Look…"

"I won't be a burden." shuddering with cold, she watched him impatiently. Never before had Sephiroth seen her so determined. She was not going to leave him a choice, or so it seemed. There was no way he could win against her strong resolve.

Something tells me I'm going to regret it very soon, he thought.

"Don't pack anything, just get dressed properly." he said quietly, having an almost painful expression written across his face. "And, please, do it quickly. It's going to dawn very soon."

"Promise me you'll wait here."

"I'm not going to leave you now." he sighed heavily. "…I promise."

Sephiroth didn't go back on his word. When Aeris appeared in front of the inn a few minutes later, he was still there, waiting more or less patiently. "Get on." he gestured at the chocobo he was sitting on, almost smiling at her surprise. "That way it would be much faster." he explained calmly. "And there's really no time to loose if we want to catch a ferry across the canal."

* * *

"So, you've made a choice…" Movitriss said quietly.

She knew it wouldn't have been that difficult to stop him; if only she tried. In her mind, she was considering a few possibilities: running outside, starting a loud quarrel, casting 'sleepel' from the distance, stabbing Aeris with a dagger or reasoning with Sephiroth. Waking up Valagar or Kyro was a good idea, too.

And yet she did nothing. Paralyzed with grief, she couldn't even move. Her lips trembled. Another tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, which only irritated her further. She was not the kind of woman to cry easily.

(Back then, he said he was sorry. Maybe he wasn't lying… since he looked me straight in the eye as he was apologizing… He told me many things that night. Many frightful stories, about his life, mostly. I remember wondering, if I were strong enough to accept such a burden… And then, of course, I asked about Aeris. I had to know whether he really loved her…)

'I think so…' he hesitated. 'But then again… I almost forgot how it was to love anybody.'

Then they had made love. It was one the sweetest and saddest things Movitriss ever experienced. She smiled bitterly. (He was wrong… I don't regret it at all.)

<but…>

So he liked her as a friend, perhaps, but he had never considered her as his beloved. She already knew him well enough to be sure he was not going to change his mind easily. No matter how badly she wanted to run downstairs and slap the half-Cetra across the cheek, she knew it would be pointless. Besides, she was too proud to do something like that. And too smart to commit a suicide over one man, no matter how extraordinary he was.

However, at the same time, Movitriss couldn't help feeling angry and disappointed. She sighed, watching them disappear in the darkness.

* * *

It is folly, Sephiroth thought, forcing the chocobo to run straight at a high wooden barrier that separated the trail from a weedy meadow. He firmly grasped the reigns, bending lower in the saddle and focusing on the remaining distance.

"Hold on." he told Aeris, but there was no need to tell her that, really. She already held him as tight as it was possible.

(I must have been out of my mind to take her along… If only she had stayed with the Cetra… she would've been safer now.)

The chocobo jumped over the fence, not even touching it.

Still not used to the speed, Aeris nestled her face in Sephiroth's back, trying hard not to look at the ground, which was fairly easy in the man's presence. Right now, with her arms wrapped around his waist, she felt safe as never. She smiled happily, embracing him even tighter. Sephiroth's smooth shirt felt nice against her burning cheek.

(Why did he suddenly decide to act? Anyway, what does it matter? I guess he has his own reasons. I'm sure he's doing the right thing. I trust him with my life now…)

He could've left me behind, Aeris thought.

<…But he didn't. He left her instead…>

She grinned at the thought, feeling some kind of a malicious, wild satisfaction. These dark emotions, however, soon gave way to a rising excitement.

(Maybe I mean something to him, after all…?)

End of Chapter 11

* * *

Author's Notes: I had fun writing this bittersweet chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. If not, then what did you expect? A real fight…? Some wrestling, perhaps? Movitriss the Cetra Mage vs. Aeris the Flower Girl? Nah, that's simply not my style. I prefer dialogues to violence; I guess you've already noticed that.

There are still at least two or three more chapters to write, so I'll better start working now. Stay tuned and don't forget to leave me some comments! *winks in a cute way* Please, review, 'cause your opinions are invaluable… and a little bit of encouragement is important for every writer. Thanks for attention, anyway! I love every single person who visits this page!

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