No Wish to be Alone
Chapter 14
Soft music played somewhere in
the background as they stared at each other. He had a very strange expression
on his face. "Love?"
"Yes?"
"How did we get
here?"
She chewed on her bottom lip,
trying to think of a good explanation in ten words or less. "Well, you
see, we’re Inside."
"I know where we are. I
want to know how you got here." Frankly, how did I get here? I was
kissing her…
It was her turn to look
confused. "You’ve been here before?"
"Of course. This is where
I contemplate things when I’m meditating." He peered at her. "You’ve
been here before, too?"
"This is Inside. It’s
where I go sometimes when I need to talk to the Planet without interruption. I
was here last night, before AVALANCHE showed up."
"How can you get inside
my inner mind?"
"What are you talking
about? This is MY inner mind!" She glanced around. A few yards away, she
saw the representations of their physical forms as she had the previous night.
They were locked in a passionate kiss, unmoving, like statues. This time, however,
there was only one image above the two of them; the mirror image of her in the
blue void, with him standing behind her. She spun back to face him, to find
that he had moved forward a few steps as she did. She nearly collided with his
chest, but he caught her before she could fall from surprise. "What’s
going on?" she asked, then realized something. "PLANET?"
Here.
She switched to thought. Is
this your doing?
Of course. Brought you here
together. The music
grew and faded, the mellow tones of a lute this time. The blue glowed and
dimmed in time to the sound.
"Wait—that’s the Planet’s
voice?" he said weakly. Alarmed, she helped him sit down, for all colour
had drained from his face. "It doesn’t make sense."
"What doesn’t?"
"I always thought it was
mine."
She looked nonplussed.
"You’ve heard the Planet before? How? Here?"
Imperceptibly, he nodded.
"I would argue things over with myself in here. Though I always assumed it
was my own mind, playing devil’s advocate or something..."
Amusement drifted over them
both. Should never assume, silly man.
"I’ll remember that in
the future." He shook his head, dazed. I can hear the Planet?
Where are we, dear Friend?
Inside. You recognize
Inside. Here often enough.
But Inside whom? Him? Me?
Inside ME.
They both froze. The Planet’s
voice, gaining strength, as though more and more voices were joining a chorus,
continued.
Always Inside ME. Brought
you here for safety, sanity. Safe place. Any more fear, pain, separation, can
come here to find each other. Created bond as lifeline. Where one goes, other
may follow. The notes
flurried, the Planet’s own form of rueful laughter. In the unmoving forms
before them, the golden auras shimmered, highlighting the tenuous Bond. Never
came here together. Never same time. Always alone, always lonely. Too far
apart. Not enough love, obstacles, Not-My-Child interfering, not enough
knowledge to follow each other. The voice sounded pleased. Now never too
far apart. Soon, perhaps permanent.
"Permanent?" the
man’s normally clear voice was hushed. He touched his beloved’s face.
"Permanent how?" He addressed the Planet, but never took his eyes
from hers.
Love. Bond. Oath. Vow. Must
speak with her, play can wait. Need to discuss plans first. Need to make
decisions. No secrets. No more waiting. Then, play. Love. Plans first.
The two stared at each other.
Finally, the girl spoke aloud. "We should get back, then. I’d rather talk
about this in person."
He nodded in silent agreement,
already making his decisions in his mind. They both closed their eyes, concentrated
on their entwined bodies under the willow, and suddenly, they were there. He
did not release her right away, instead plundering her mouth for just a moment
more. When he did pull back, she whimpered at the look in his eyes.
Oh, gods, he’s angry at me,
he must think I tricked him into this or something. She closed her eyes as he sat up,
turning her head to the side so he wouldn’t see them filling up with tears for
the hundredth time that night. She managed to get herself under control, and
she, too slowly got into a sitting position.
He pulled a blade of grass
from the ground, inspecting it carefully. His expressionless visage gave
nothing away. She could see the faint glow of green lighting his cheekbones
from his half-closed eyes. Then that solemn gaze was turned upon her fully, the
General looking over a raw recruit, missing nothing. She jumped when he spoke.
"We will deal with the
issues of Inside and why I can hear the Planet later. Right now, I want you to
tell me what the Planet was talking about regarding this Bond. From the
beginning."
"O—okay…the
beginning?"
"When I abducted
you."
She hesitated, then began, the
words coming out in a rush. "It started when I asked the Planet why I
hadn’t been killed. It told me I was the last of my kind, and if I died, it
would have no one Hear it anymore. When I asked what it would do when I died of
old age, it told me it would talk to my children. I was shocked! I had never
planned on having any children, since I thought my life was going to end so
early. I couldn’t think of anyone I knew who I’d even consider as a father,
since I didn’t love Cloud like that, nor any of the members of AVALANCHE. And
they were the only people I knew. Then, you touched my arm and the Planet began
sending me images and feelings about you. I thought, dear Gods, it can’t be
him! But the Planet had already chosen for me." She paused, hoping he
didn’t hate her for not telling him this sooner.
"Go on," he said,
face still unreadable.
"Then you kissed me at
the inn, and you had carried me there, and I started to realize that you were
the man I’d dreamed about, not the evil monster, but the burdened, sorrowful
man. I fell in love with you. Yesterday, you asked me about how the Planet had
saved you, and I found out by looking Inside last night. It showed me the Bond,
and told me how to keep it intact. Love, it said, would strengthen it, but only
temporarily. To make it permanent—," her voice dropped to a near whisper,
"I would have to marry you. That’s what it meant by ‘oath’ and ‘vow’. A
marriage vow is a public promise, legally and spiritually binding."
"And where does that
leave us?" he asked softly. "Has all this been decided for us? Do you
have any say in this?" He leaned forward, cupping her chin in his hand.
"Do I?"
She wanted to hide from the
flaring intensity in his Mako eyes. "There’s always a choice, love. The
Planet has told me what it wants to happen, but you make your decisions on your
own."
He continued his perusal of
her face for a while. "And if I decide not to marry you?"
Fresh tears sprang to her
eyes. "I—I would not force you to do anything."
"What about children?
What if I don’t ever want any, because I would never want another child to
endure what I went through?" His voice was still soft, calm, detached.
"Again, that is your
choice." She pulled away from his hand, dropping her gaze to her lap as a
few tears escaped, darkening the fabric of her dress where they fell.
"Though I cannot lie; my heart was overjoyed when I was given back the
chance to have a family."
"What would you do if I
decided to have no part in the Planet’s plans? What if I decide to leave?"
Her breath choked her.
"Then the Planet would have to admit that you were the wrong choice. If I
want those things, and I do, I would eventually have to look for someone else
to marry…"
"NO!" His cry frightened her, so sudden and
so vehement. Her eyes snapped back up to meet his. "I will never allow
another man to touch you! You are mine, Aeris!" His hands went to
her shoulders, pulling her unresisting form into a fierce embrace.
"I don’t understand! I
thought you said…those questions you asked…," She was utterly confused,
but her heart was growing lighter.
"Love, I meant it when I
said I needed you. I was asking those questions because I wanted to know if I
at least had a choice. I never said I wouldn’t follow the very attractive path
the Planet opened up for me. I need you, love, and I will marry you. But only
if that is what you wish, not what some manipulative entity tells you it
wants." No offense, he thought to the entity in question.
None taken, came the unexpected reply, with a hint
of amusement.
The girl gave him no time to
reflect upon that, for she threw her arms about his neck, kissing him soundly.
"Yes! I want that, and yes, it’s my decision. When this all started, I
mightn't have been so sure, but I’ve had time to learn who you are." She
smiled up at him, holding him tightly, tight enough so he couldn’t escape.
He smiled. "Then let’s
get some sleep. Tomorrow, we make plans with AVALANCHE. I’ll let you decide
what to tell them."
"Let’s not tell them yet.
I still need them to get used to you being on our side, so we’ll keep it quiet
for now. But the first cleric we run across…," she sighed happily.
"The very first one we
find will marry us." He grinned at the prospect. "Come on, let’s sit
in our favorite spot. I want to hold you under this tree one last time before
we leave."
*****
AN: Hmm, let me know what you
think of this chapter. It was difficult to write, since I had a hard time
envisioning the whole marriage proposal part. If you don't like it, maybe I'll
rewrite it later. *wark*