A/N: I’m a hopeless idealist and an incurable romantic. *Sigh* If my parents knew, they’d probably have a heart attack.
Thank you to all those who took the time to review!
KrystalClear: My dear, you’re crazier than I am! I laughed out loud when I read your review. I have to say though, you convinced me not to change the title. Thanks babe.
Aer-Seph4eva: I’m so glad you like Marianna! I know how lots of OCs can fall flat. That’s why I support Self-Inserts. It’s so much easier to develop a character when you know exactly how they think and what their strong/weak points are.
Kai: You summed it up pretty well there. Too bad all the different facets of the story are starting to make my head spin when I try to keep them all together. *Sigh*
Disclaimer: I hereby disclaim all rights to everything except Marianna. Everything else belongs to Squaresoft Inc. Well, not everything, but I digress…
All her life, well, at least since the time she’d become old enough to be concerned about such things, she’d longed for someone to share eternity with. It seemed that every girl and every woman was the same in that respect – wanting, wishing, dreaming. But for her, it had always been more than just a desire for romance. It was more than just wanting Mr. Perfect. In truth, it didn’t matter if He was perfect or not. Just as long as there was…
Oh, but how to describe it? A connection. A bond that could not be broken that would withstand the trials of time, distance, and pain. She had always felt so incomplete, as if somewhere out there, she could sense that there was someone who needed her as much as she needed him.
Someone she could devote herself to, totally and completely. Someone she would love for everything that he was; for the essence of his being; his soul. Someone who would return her feelings full force and wrap her in his arms to take away all of the pain and uncertainty.
Comfort. Warmth. Passion. The ultimate happiness. They were out there somewhere, they had to be! Somewhere…
She’d never found him in her first mortal lifetime. She had died young and tragically, and then found herself in the great realm of Heaven with a choice. What was her next step going to be?
She had chosen, that day so long ago, to join the ranks of Heaven and help them ensure the stability of the universes. It had been her hope that working and making herself useful would wipe away the memories of her shortcomings in life.
It was still her hope.
She was still a very young soul, though; one that had just begun her journey of discovery. There was still time for her to find herself, to come to terms with her existence, and to find him.
Marianna had always been a dreamer.
* * *
Love.
He sneered at the word, his lips twisting into a bitter and sarcastic grin that was totally devoid of humor. Lucrecia, his mother, had certainly loved him. After all, she’d let that lunatic Hojo experiment on her unborn fetus knowing that the tests were dangerous and unpredictable. That was love wasn’t it?
And then there was his father Hojo. Gods, the mere thought of that sickened him. He was Hojo’s son! He was the spawn of a man that probably never had a soul and didn’t know the meaning of the word “conscience.” Oh yes, he’d felt the love of a father for his child. It came in the form of regular visits to the Shinra Laboratories where he was tested like a guinea pig and then given numerous painful shots of mako and who knew what else.
Ah, the wonders of parental love. How clearly he could recall the neglect, the abuse, and the countless punishments that no child should have been able to survive! He could hardly even picture himself as a helpless little boy anymore, but he could remember the hidden tears and the endless shame. He remembered how he’d tried so desperately to win the love of the man who should have given it to him unconditionally.
And then everything had changed. He’d grown up into a powerful man and Hojo lost all hold on him. The child of his past died and in his place, a legend was born. The Great Sephiroth.
Impassive. Immovable. Cold and Driven.
Yet in the end, his entire world had crumbled to ashes because of his damnable weakness. Despite everything he’d done and how much he’d changed to protect himself, ultimately it had been unpreventable. Perhaps it had been his destiny all along.
In his desperate, unconscious pursuit of the affection that had always been denied, he’d allowed Jenova to manipulate and maneuver him into madness. He’d believed everything that the sickly sweet voice had cooed into his mind’s ear.
And hundreds, perhaps thousands of innocent lives had paid the ultimate price for his mistake.
* * *
Marianna stumbled blindly down the stairs towards the kitchen in the darkness. Her throat felt terribly dry and her eyes were burning with the need to release the tears that her mind insisted on containing.
What the hell was wrong with her? Okay, she’d just been rejected in a big way, but hey, who cared? She was here on business. She had a job to do, damn it! So why in the name of the Gods was she acting like an emotional time bomb ready to go off at the slightest provocation?
She reached the kitchen sink without too much difficulty, only occasionally bumping into things like corners and the counter, and poured herself a cold glass of water. She hadn’t bothered to turn on the light because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping members of AVALANCHE. Breaking down in front of a bunch of strangers was not becoming.
It was just the combined stress of the day, she told herself. It was at least partly true. She’d never fought in a battle like that. Actually, she’d never fought, period. It wasn’t in her nature and she didn’t believe in it.
Everybody, love and peace! Her mind insisted on mocking her. Why did it keep doing that?
And what’s so wrong with love and peace? Why do people insist on trying to kill each other?
Her mind drifted back to the catacombs and the battle that had occurred earlier. How many SOLDIERS had died back there? How many would die in the future because of the greed of a handful of rich and power hungry men?
Everywhere it was the same. Across universes, throughout all of history, people insisted on fighting and killing each other. Some believed themselves superior and therefore deserved to rule over others. Others fought for land or wealth.
In the name of God. For the glory of
Oh yes. How glorious and honorable it was to plunge one’s sword into the heart of an enemy and know that a precious life was just extinguished! How wonderful it must feel to be able to play God with the lives of captive enemies. To be able to take slaves in order to make the lives of the rich more comfortable.
Didn’t anyone realize that their supposed enemies were actually their brothers and sisters?
Marianna suddenly slammed into the corner of the kitchen counter. The glass of water that she had in her hand was unsteadied and water spilled onto her torn clothes and the cold tile of the floor. As the liquid droplets descended, the tears that she had previously been keeping at bay broke through her control.
Feeling as if someone had stabbed her and was now twisting the knife cruelly in the wound, she slid to the floor with her back against the side of the counter. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
Why did the world lack empathy? Why were people so selfish that they gave no thought to those that they would hurt in order to gain what they wanted? Or was it just a select few that managed to get into power and then manipulate the populace to better serve their own ends?
As sadly cheesy and pathetic as it sounded, why couldn’t everyone just get along? Was it really so difficult for people to live their lives without trying to oppress others? Or were humans truly so insecure when it came to their own worth that they felt a subconscious need to push others beneath them in order to feel better about themselves?
She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked up, hoping that it was anyone but him. No doubt he would just scorn her foolish, female way of thinking and she didn’t think she could handle that at this point.
Luckily, it was Aeris. The one person who could possibly understand.
“Are you alright?” she asked softly as she knelt down beside her.
“I…I don’t know,” Marianna answered truthfully. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Tell
It was that simple. Two small, compassionate words from a sister soul and Marianna found herself unable to keep the words back.
“I was just thinking. You know, about everything that’s happened.” She paused, feeling as if she were grasping at words that insisted on being elusive. Unable to think of any other way to put it, she said simply, “War sucks.”
A small, musical laugh escaped her companion’s throat. “I know what you mean. I wish there was another way.”
Yes, if only. If only…
What a terrible cycle they were all trapped in! Those that persisted in their need to conquer forced others to retaliate to protect that which they held most dear. Soldiers died and families grieved.
“Why can’t people just be happy with life?” Marianna wondered out loud. “It’s short enough as it is. Why waste it trying to hurt others?”
“Hm. Human nature, perhaps? That’s kinda pessimistic though, isn’t it?” Came the response from beside her. Aeris paused for a moment. “The Planet told me about you, you know.”
That didn’t surprise Marianna in the least. It actually comforted her to know that there was at least one other person here that she wouldn’t have to lie to.
“I figured it would. So then you know why we’re here?”
“You mean to find those demons and set history on the right course again?” Aeris asked. “Or to help your companion find himself?”
A small smile played upon Marianna’s lips. “Both,” she replied. “And they’re both going to be equally difficult.”
“Shinra shouldn’t have known where to find us today. I’m glad that we had some divine intervention on our side.”
“More like semi-divine. I’m definitely not an angel and I’m kind of new to this.” Marianna admitted, feeling completely at ease in the company of the Ancient. Her emotional tempest had subsided, and she was feeling much more calm and in control.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Marianna spoke up again. “Why are up so late? Couldn’t sleep?”
“Yeah. You too?” She asked.
Marianna ran her hands through her tangled hair in frustration, reminded of what had transpired between her and Sephiroth. She mumbled in response, “Something like that.”
“You know what I think, Mare?” Aeris began hesitantly.
Mare, she smiled to herself at Aeris’s use of her old nickname. Brings back memories. Out loud she said, “What?”
“I think you should stick by Sephiroth. He’ll come around eventually. He just needs time.”
Marianna turned her head to stare at the woman beside her in shock. “How-?”
The pretty brunette returned her gaze with a sweet smile. “Call it woman’s intuition.”
“And what exactly do you think is happening between us?” Marianna asked, still trying to figure out how her friend could possibly know so much. Surely the Planet didn’t gossip?
“I think you two are starting to fall for each other.” She stated simply as she played with the corner of her red jacket.
“That’s ridiculous.” Okay, so she was attracted to him. So what? He was hot. That was it. “Besides, I hate war. Why would I fall for a soldier?”
“Stop lying to yourself,” Aeris said in a playful, knowing tone. “We’re exactly the same in this case.”
“Oh?”
“Hopeless romantics searching for our knights in shining armor. The ideal soldier’s a man who fights and risks his life to protect what he believes in. What he loves. And girls like you and me are totally in love with that idea.”
With a start, she realized that Aeris was absolutely right. She’d always found the soldier archetype highly attractive, but never understood why. But that didn’t explain Sephiroth.
“Sephiroth isn’t exactly a knight in shining armor,” she said dryly. Did Aeris know his full history?
“Maybe he wasn’t back then,” Aeris answered. “But life is all about change.”
Life is a journey.
She continued, “After all, isn’t he here now to make up for the past?”
Damn. She was right. Sephiroth, for all his annoying lack of visible emotion, was with her now on an honorable quest. As Shinra’s youngest General, he’d fought to regain his self-respect and for other self-centered reasons. As Jenova’s puppet he’d tried to annihilate an entire world in pursuit of divinity.
But what if he was fighting now only to redeem himself and didn’t care the least for the fate of the people here? No, that couldn’t be the case. If that were true, the Gods would have pulled the plug on this project before it had even begun.
“Before Jenova, Sephiroth may have been arrogant and insufferable, but he was still a man of principle.” Aeris spoke, breaking Marianna out of her thoughts. “I get the feeling that he’s not the type to believe that women should be subservient to men.”
“How come you’re still so…innocent and trusting?” Marianna asked to change the subject and out of genuine curiosity. Analyzing Sephiroth like that was making her uncomfortable.
Aeris smiled in response. “Well, I was one of the lucky ones. After Shinra killed my father, my mother escaped. She died later from a gunshot, but gave me to a woman named Elmyra Gainsborough first.” Her expression turned wistful, as if she was remembering and missing her home. “Dad’s one of those guys that actually believes in equality, so I grew up in a good household.”
“So how did you did you get involved with AVALANCHE?”
“Their leader fell through my roof. Literally.” She laughed again, remembering that day. “When he told me about the rebellion and who he was, well, I just had to help.”
Noble, selfless Aeris, Marianna thought to herself. “It’s easy to imagine why you girls are fighting. But what about the guys? I mean, weren’t they raised with the whole male supremacy mindset?”
“Well you see,” Her companion began only to be interrupted by the kitchen lights unexpectedly coming to life.
The two girls were blinded by the sudden flood of brightness where once there were only traces of moonlight. Blinking and squinting, they heard the rough grating of Cid’s voice.
“I knew it. Giving away secrets, eh Aeris?” Cid shook his head in mild disgust. “You’re way too trusting kiddo.”
“Still don’t trust me, Cid?” Marianna asked innocently.
He merely shrugged in response and said gruffly. “I trust you more than I do that man of yours.”
“He’s not-”
“Yeah, whatever.” He cut her off and waved towards the general direction of the living room. “Look, everyone’s up. Might as well get all the ‘discussion’ crap over with.”
Marianna glanced at Aeris as she got to her feet in time to catch the Ancient shaking her head in bemusement at Cid’s usual manner. With a shrug, she followed the man out of the kitchen wondering idly if he always looked that scruffy.
They reached the living room to see that everyone – including Sephiroth – was awake and assembled in the living room. All looked somewhat disheveled, and were still in the process of recovering from their injuries. Curiously enough, Cloud and Sephiroth were already shooting looks of dislike towards each other even though they’d just met.
What’s up with those two? Marianna pondered. Are they destined to hate each other or something?
Tifa looked lost in thought as she sat absentmindedly playing with a lock of her long hair. Yuffie was on the floor cleaning her giant shuriken while Red licked his matted fur clean of the blood that had dried on it. Vincent and Barret were both studying Sephiroth with inscrutable expressions.
“Found ‘em,” announced Cid, drawing everyone’s attention to the trio that had just entered the room. “Girl talk on the kitchen floor or something.”
At that, Tifa raised and eyebrow and Aeris just answered with a smile.
“So…” Marianna said, wondering where she should begin.
“We’ve decided that we’re going to trust you,” Cloud told her with an air of authority. “You did save us back there.”
“Oh, it was nothing,” she replied. Please don’t start asking questions about-
No such luck.
“So how’d you do that crazy spell?” Yuffie asked, her voice overflowing with childish excitement as she looked up from her shuriken. “I never knew there was materia like that! Can I see it?”
“Um, well, it wasn’t mat-”
Cloud interrupted her before she could finish. “And how did you know my name before we told you? I didn’t think Shinra had our identities yet.”
“They don’t.” Marianna assured him while tugging nervously on a lock of her black hair. Why hadn’t she prepared her excuses beforehand? She glanced over at Sephiroth, but it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be any help.
“Then how did you know who I was? And how did you know where to find us today?”
“And how did Shinra find us?’ Barret added.
“I don’t know about Shinra,” she answered untruthfully. Shinra had found them because of a little thing generally referred to as ‘demonic intervention,’ but she couldn’t tell them that. “Maybe their spies have gotten better.”
Tifa took up the interrogation. “That doesn’t tell us anything about you.”
“Um,” she paused trying to think of a good explanation, but came up blank. “I’m psychic?”
She could have slapped herself for saying that.
Skeptic eyebrows rose all over the room and she heard Aeris, who was still standing beside her, stifle a giggle.
“Really?” Yuffie asked. She was practically bouncing up and down in her enthusiasm. “Can you read my mind? What am I thinking of right now?”
The members of AVALANCHE groaned in unison while Sephiroth and Vincent only looked mildly amused.
“Let me think,” Hey, Marianna figured, there was no harm in giving it a try. “You’re thinking, ‘What materia did she use to cast that cool reflect spell? I’ll bet it’s super rare!’ and ‘How can I get my hands on it?”
From Yuffie’s astonished expression, it was obvious that she’d hit it right on the nose.
“How did you…” the ninja sputtered.
Cloud shook his head as he tried to keep a smile off his face. He failed. “But really, Marianna. If we’re going to work together, you could at least tell us the truth.”
“Oh Cloud, come on.” Aeris came to her rescue. “Mare has her reasons for not telling us. She’s already proven that we can trust her. Let’s just drop the inquisition, please?”
Cloud studied Aeris’s face for a moment, as if searching for answers hidden in her emerald green eyes. Then he sighed and spoke at length, “You’re right. Sorry for making you uncomfortable, Marianna. And thanks for getting us out of that mess back there.”
“Please, don’t mention it.” She was grateful that the questions were going to stop. She’d always been a horrible liar.
“So why’d you wanna join us?” Barret asked her. Distrust was still there, but she could see that it was rapidly fading.
Marianna shrugged lightly. “I’m a girl fighting for my rights. Isn’t that enough?”
“It is for you,” Red commented. As always, he sounded wise beyond his years. “But what of your companion?” This he directed at Sephiroth.
“It’s not unheard of for a man to fight for a good cause,” came the cold reply. Though no direct emotion could be detected in either his words or his tone, something about his response seemed to say, “How dare you ask?” Nevertheless, Marianna’s treacherous heart leaped in an unreasonable manner.
Maybe he really
does care about the fate of the people here.
“Oh yeah?” Cid sneered in his rude way. “You don’t seem like the bleeding heart type to me.”
Sephiroth retorted calmly, “I could say the same about you.”
Marianna stepped in before the conversation could turn ugly. Apparently Sephiroth still had some issues working alongside his old enemies. “Believe it or not Cid, Sephiroth is here for the same reason that I am,” Another complete truth. Hey, she was getting good at answering questions misleadingly! “Personally, I’m wondering how you guys all got involved in this. The girls are easily explained, so what about you?”
There was a pause while the men all waited for someone else to answer first. Finally Cloud said, “I’m not proud of this, but I started as a hired mercenary. But then, well, you know.” He looked embarrassed. He might even have started blushing ever so slightly. “The way things are now, it’s disgusting.”
Probably
something to do with Tifa. Marianna
contemplated silently. Or
maybe Aeris. Maybe both?
“What about you Barret?” she asked the large man by Cloud’s side.
He shifted uncomfortably and then grunted, “Crazy shit
happened to my wife, Myrna, cuz of dem damn-ass Shinra. The fuckers blew up
That’s when he must have lost his wife and his right arm, Marianna mused. Fighting to avenge his wife? Aloud, she said sincerely, “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, now them dirty punks are goin’ down!”
A smile curved Marianna’s lips. “Yes, they are,” she promised. “What about you Red?”
The mountain lion-like creature’s tail was flicking black and forth playfully behind him. For a moment, Marianna worried that the flame on the end of it would cause the furniture to catch fire, but then dismissed the thought. If a fire started, they could just put it out. What was a little burnt furniture, after all? Actually, maybe if more things around her were similar to charcoal, her cooking wouldn’t seem so bad…
“‘Always assist when possible, lest someday you are the one in need of assistance.’ ” He quoted. “Humans certainly are in need of help if they believe that half of their number should live without rights.”
“Oh, Nanaki.” Aeris walked over to where the beast was laying stretched out on the floor and sat down beside him. She began to scratch him behind his ears, and though he made a show of just barely tolerating it, it was clear that he was enjoying the affection. “Always so noble.”
Cait Sith’s tinny mechanical voice broke in. “And I was originally a spy for Shinra! I think that’s why Barret doesn’t like me very much.” The robotic moogle did a little dance in the middle of the living room floor. “But now I’ve seen just what Shinra’s laws have done to the world, so now I gotta fight ‘em!”
That puzzled Marianna. She knew that it was Reeve who controlled Cait Sith thanks to her assignment briefing. Did that mean that even though he worked at the heart of the organization, he’d never seen the full extent of the oppression that Shinra had placed the women of the world under? It was possible, she supposed. Perhaps all the women that he’d had contact with were perfectly content in their roles and treated well by their, uh, lovers.
Now that she thought about it, she was willing to bet that Reeve had a harem of his own. For a powerful man that had lived his entire life in a world that for the most part believed women were created to serve, take care of the home and have children, it was to be expected. But that didn’t make him a “bad man.” It was obvious that now that he’d seen the truth, as opposed to the sugar coated version, he understood what had to be done.
“And what about you, Cid? Vincent?” she asked.
“The bastards pulled the plug on my space program funding. They took the Highwind, and then they tried to steal the Bronco. This is about revenge, baby.”
She tried to keep from smiling in amusement, but couldn’t. “Revenge? You mean it has nothing to do with Shera?”
The second she said, she realized that it wasn’t the smartest move.
“How do you know about Shera?” Tifa’s calm, but suspicious voice was drowned out by an angry Cid’s shout of, “What the fuck does this have to do with Shera? That stupid woman is nothing but a thorn in my side!”
That made Marianna angry. Her temper tended to flare quickly when provoked. “She was prepared to die so you could achieve your dream! How many women do you know that would be so devoted to you, Cid? The least you could do is be a little nicer to her!”
Shock was apparent on the faces of most of the occupants of the room.
Had to open your big mouth, didn’t you? She mentally kicked herself.
“How did-”
“So, uh, Vincent?” Marianna interrupted. She wasn’t about to answer another question with, ‘I’m psychic.’
The cloaked man was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His haunted crimson eyes became even more sad-looking at her question – if that were even possible.
“I failed to protect the woman I loved years ago,” he answered. His voice was deep and full of tightly controlled emotion. “She died because her husband had total control over her and didn’t hesitate to use it. She died in my arms a few hours after she gave birth and made me promise to save and raise her son.”
It was remarkably similar to Sephiroth’s story. Marianna’s heart went out to Vincent and she wanted more than anything to go to him and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. And that Lucrecia didn’t blame him.
You can’t blame yourself, Vincent. She longed to tell him that, but now was not the appropriate time or place.
The Vincent of
Sephiroth’s world also tried to rescue him from Hojo. What would have happened
if he’d succeeded, she wondered? He’d
have led a normal, loved life. Jenova would never have been able to control him
like that.
And you wouldn’t be here right now.
If he’d succeeded, she would never have gotten the chance to prove herself capable of being an agent. And she’d have never met Sephiroth.
Since her mortal death, she’d always wanted to work under the Goddess of Redemption. To this day, she still couldn’t imagine a more rewarding career. To help the lost find their way again, it would make her happier than anything.
But she knew that she would trade it in an instant if it meant that Sephiroth could have lived a better, happier life. She would give up her dream to take away all the years of harshness and cruelty that he’d had to live through, if only it were possible.
Did that mean…?
Vincent spoke again as he stared ahead with glazed eyes, “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t save him.”
* * *
The son that Vincent spoke of was him, Sephiroth thought to himself. Well a version of himself, at any rate.
In his timeline, Lucrecia had readily involved herself in Hojo’s experiment and had essentially handed over her unborn child to his sick ministrations. But in this world, it sounded as if his mother, his true mother, had been as much of a victim as any of Hojo’s other unwilling test subjects.
Then what had become of Lucrecia’s child?
“What happened, Vincent?” he heard Marianna ask.
Her voice broke him out of his thoughts and he glanced up towards where she stood. Her eyes were shining with what looked like unshed tears. But why?
“He died,” Vincent answered succinctly. “Hojo’s experiments and injections killed him a few days after his birth.”
A feeling of relief washed over Sephiroth at Vincent’s admission. It was far better to have died in the cradle than to have grown into an unstable man, turned killer at the hands of Hojo and Jenova. That meant that this world had been spared the grief and anguish that he’d caused in his native timeline.
But that didn’t mean that the people here didn’t suffer. They were spared the madness of a man pursuing Godhood, but half of their number were little more than slaves thanks to the misguidance of a few powerful men and countless years of history. Personally, he couldn’t understand why men would want power over their women in such a way. He’d always found docility terribly boring in a woman, and a pretty face without a single thought in her head was even worse. Besides, it was so much more rewarding to hear a woman beg to be taken as opposed to begging not to be raped. There was no pride or honor in that.
In his lifetime, he’d had the privilege of meeting many capable women who’d proven themselves valuable assets to the Shinra Corporation. Those who possessed the right skills and dedication deserved to have a chance to achieve their dreams, regardless of whether they were male or female. Otherwise it was simply a waste of talent.
There was more to it than that, however, that made him silently and almost unconsciously vow to help AVALANCHE in any way that he could. Truth be told, he knew first hand what it felt like to be at the complete mercy of another person, and it was a fate that no one deserved. The utter helplessness combined with the knowledge that life could be better was torture that no one should have to bear.
Damned if he was going to admit that to Marianna, though.
“In one way or another, most of us are here for vengeance,” Tifa said, cutting through the stifling silence that followed the end of Vincent’s story.
“Yeah!” Yuffie chimed in. “And once we get to those stupid Shinra’s, I’m going to tear that fat, ugly president limb from limb!”
At that, Sephiroth mouth twitched up at one corner in dry amusement at the hate in the young ninja’s voice. She actually sounded quite serious about her threat. A quick look towards his partner on the other hand, showed that she was horrified at the girl’s remark.
“You don’t mean that, Yuffie,” she said, looking disturbed and sad at the same time. “You can’t really feel that way.”
To Sephiroth, it sounded more as if Marianna was trying to convince herself that than anything else.
When Yuffie replied, it was with a quiet, calm voice that was deadly underneath. “Yes, I do.”
“But-”
“You’re just like Aeris, ya know?” Yuffie interrupted. “You can’t understand what it’s like.” She broke off there, as if unwilling to continue.
What had happened to her in the past that could make her hate Shinra so much, Sephiroth wondered? She certainly harbored a lot of ill feelings for one so young.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Marianna cross her arms in front of her chest stubbornly. “Nothing justifies torture or that kind of hatred. If you ever did kill Shinra that way, you’d only feel like crap afterwards.”
Yuffie was right, Sephiroth realized. Marianna could never understand how bitter memories and hatred built up over years could drive a person to seek vengeance. To this day, if he was given the chance, he’d still throttle Hojo and kill the soulless scientist. But Marianna was a pacifist and healer by nature, but only because she had likely lived a life without knowing the cruelty of the world. What would she be like if she had been raised in a laboratory without ever knowing the love of her parents? Without ever knowing a tender touch or a gentle smile?
The thought disturbed him and almost caused him to shift uncomfortably. Almost, but not quite. The idea of her suffering through the same life and consequently the same fate as him shouldn’t have bothered him.
But it did.
Just then, Tifa sighed deeply and spoke at length. “Why don’t you sit down, Marianna? Sometimes, you really can’t blame someone for wanting revenge. I think it’s time you found out just how bad some things can be.”
A/N: It’s not my intention to make Sephiroth look like a wuss. Definitely not, but I fear that I may be doing just that. Am I? This chapter was extremely difficult to write and I’m not particularly happy with it now that it’s finished. Am I being too picky?
Next time: Tifa’s story. There’s going to be two versions of this chapter because I want to keep the rating at PG13. So there will be a moderated chapter and an NC-17 version for those who are old enough and can handle reading about disturbing subject matter.
Please review. I need to get feedback on this chapter. Pretty please?
~LS~